Tag Archives: darkness

Day 15 —  Psilocybin + Psilocybe 

The Festival of Grief has been subdued again this year which is surely a positive sign. Healing perhaps has arrived. The text is a compilation / reinterpretation / reworking of many people’s descriptions of what taking psilocybin felt like for them. I found the content both online in various forums & chats as well as in my printed books.

The Poetic Factoid is borderline abuse.

[Disclaimer: As with yesterday’s entry, this poem was written on the correct day (Wednesday) but was unable to get it online owing to painting, meetings, & other exhaustions.]

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Psilocybin 

you say it feels like : you’re losing your sense of self : shedding it : that it blows your mind : puts all things into perspective : clears your thinking : connects you with the universe : expands who you are : what you know : what you could be : unravels obstacles & obstructions : achieve transcendental introspection : omniscient understanding of self : the most profound lesson you learn is : how : to be your true pure self

you say it : reduces social anxiety : helps overcome severe trauma, PTSD, & extreme depression : the trauma of growing up in an evangelical church : kept you clean from cocaine & heroin for 15 years : your self loathing’s disappeared : losing your inner hate was a miracle : freed you of so much baggage : got your life back on track : become more focused, more functional : removed your mum’s end of life pain

you are kinder, more considerate, patient, peaceful : you are growing old with grace : with more joy : delight : you feel compassion for everything in existence : find every moment fascinating : see the complex synchronicity : hear for the first time : the beautiful song of the cosmos 

shows you there is infinitely more than meets the eye : allows you to look at everything in a new light : teaches perspective : to live life in such a way : it allows you to reach the highest state of consciousness possible : to achieve that infinite goal of divinity : death no longer scares : death is simply a new beginning of something ended 

formerly you were : a dry river bed : now feel full & flowing : you are the universe : & the universe is you : the stars rush towards you : swallow you up : you travel back in time : to the Big Bang : you are the Big Bang : you are everything : you talk to God : you sit with Buddha under the bodhi tree : you walk with Jesus on a beach : you speak to dead relatives 

all i seek : is three minutes : with my beautiful babies : to know you’re all okay

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Day 15 Factoid – Sometimes Names Can Be Unkind 

Psilocybe (genus name)

relatively modern word
coined in the 1950s
using modern Latin
from the Greek psilos 
meaning bald
& kubē meaning head

not quite sure 
how i feel about this

Day 14 — Triptastic + naming systems

This was a challenging poem to write because it took on a tone & indeed life of its own which was not what I was intending: trying to imagine myself as a species of mushroom. Things quickly went awry when some of the phrases demanded more like them, then counterpoints to them, then it just kept going. Slowly & surely spreading into what it is. A strange yet compelling little creature.

The Factoid is both a joke and a deadly serious accusation; a lightweight little pome which is also doing a lot of heavy lifting.

[As with yesterday’s entry, this poem was written on the correct day (Tuesday) but was unable to get it online owing to online courses, meetings, & other exhaustions.]

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[please click to enlarge image]

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Day 13 Factoid – Scientists Need to Pull Their Collective Fingers Out

Binomial Oversight

there is no
fungi named 
after me           yet

Day 10 – superstitions + myths

Another poem that (the concept of which) has been bubbling around my brain for a few days. Again it might’ve been a better “introductory” pome but we get what get when we gets it.

The Factoid is actually an assembly of 5 Mushroom Myths, to which I could easily have added another 5 more. But five seemed the right number so I picked the funnest ones.

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superstitions abound because

i. popular
they alarm : in (as archaic storytellers would say) : ye olden days : simply : by suddenly appearing : & equally so : disappearing : into nothingness : more often than not : as if out of nowhere : oftener in odd : unusual : otherworldly : or magical forms : some humanoid in shape : some suggestive : complete with earthy intoxicating smells : foul unpleasant smells : gaudy colours : extravagant colours : glorious colours : colours which change when touched : or cut : bawdy designs : gorgeous  designs : even some which light up the dark : bioluminescence : being almost the last straw : of our ancestor’s sanity

they appear : in fairy rings : aka : dimensional portals ; midnight transportation to realms of the Fae : time travel ; where one night’s revelry inside : equates with a hundred years back home : & the deaths of all your family & friends : crushing one causes ; the curse of bad luck : predicting lifespans : or amphitheatres ; where only the pure-hearted ; can enjoy ; ethereal music & exotic dancing : scorch marks ; created by overheated dragon tails ; or worse ; wild witches dance in them ; & in their swivels summon devils : as architects of immortality

they grew : where lightning had struck earth ; or fallen stars lodged : they were made of : the blood of dragons : seeded by the Devil : or any one ; of a number of gods ; some benevolent ; others more perverse  

they were : the work of witches : portals for fairies : gifts & curses from the divine : reflections of our desires ; our doubts : some even translocate us : within our own minds

ii. personal
whereas i believe : the ongoing obsession : love/hate : philia/phobia : fondness/fear : fixation : infatuation : call it what you will : between fungi : & us : is because we recognise : at a sub liminal level : we realise : in the sub strate : of our souls : we acknowledge : at our deepest sub conscious core : we would not be here : without that first ancient collaboration : between fungi & plant : five hundred million years ago

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Day 10 Factoid – There’s A Lot Of Mushroom Misconceptions Around

5 False Myths About Mushrooms

1. If Animals Eat Them…
Animals eat many things I would not put 
near my mouth. (My dog’s diet is a perfect 
case in point.) Learning to identify mushrooms 
is far more reliable than trusting a moose.

2. Cooking Makes Mushrooms Safe
Try if you like but no matter how thoroughly 
you cook various poisonous mushrooms
many/most toxins do not break down 
with heat/any type of cooking. So no go, Joe.

3. Color Indicates Toxicity …
Not all brightly coloured mushrooms are toxic 
& plenty of dull coloured ones are safe to eat.

3i. Any White Mushrooms Are Safe To Eat Myth
No, white is not alright. Think this & it 
might be your last thought. Some of the most 
toxic mushrooms around are pure white 
& would love to kill you if they could.

4. All Toxic Mushrooms Taste Bad
That all poisonous mushrooms taste bad, bitter, 
or sour is baloney. Reportedly the death cap tastes
excellent. How do we know? It doesn’t always kill 
immediately — liver failure & other organ damage is also possible.

5. Cooking With A Silver Spoon Identifies Toxic Mushrooms.
Supposed sulphur-containing toxic mushrooms 
will not cause silver spoons to blacken or tarnish. 
All it means is if you survive your meal, 
you might have to polish your silver again.

Day 08 – field + 3-in-1

Seems like there’s a few mushroom memory poems in me trying to make their way out. So we’d best let them. It is an interesting corollary of creative activity that once you start down a certain pathway of thinking/exploration, more & more bubbles to the surface, including things you may not have thought about in decades or even remember you remembered.

WARNING: The Factoid is a pretty shocking and revelatory reveal that will quite possibly BLOW your mind.

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field mushrooms
Agaricus multitudinous 

one of my favourite memories 
as a child was wandering 
the wet grassed dew paddocks
                  in my wellies 

& finding huge white beauties 
with chocolate brown gills 
smelling of earth & muddy fertility 
                  some the size of plates

talking with my parents
several days ago we agreed
don’t see as many as we used to 
                  anecdotally at least 

back then the adventure 
was the finding not the eating 
some things stay the same
                  but others change drastically 

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Day 08 Factoid – Not all mushrooms taste the same

the unusual instance of 3 mushrooms in 1
Agaricus bisporus

1. Button
entirely white
baby blobs of bland
reason for near universal popularity
             unknown

2. Cremini 
brown capped 
no visible gills
firmer texture  
             difficult to source in Oz

3. Portobello
large rugged roofed
flat brown caps 
& visible gills
             at last looking like a proper mushy

4. Revelation
all these mushrooms are the same
the minor difference is age
the major difference is taste
             (you’re welcome)

Day 06 — impressions + interstellars

This one has been building for many days. In an ideal world, perhaps it should have been the first poem of the month. But it’s not. What ya gonna do about it? It’s here now. & it’s okay.

The Poetic Factoid has the potential to be revisited in a bigger poem later on as there’s lots of interesting things about that particular topic.

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first impressions

when i think of mushrooms : it’s almost always something primal : something primitivistic : something pagan : something archetypal : something out of the dim distant past : something older than dinosaurs : something ancient & eternal : more chthonic than Cthulhu : yet still something otherworldly : something Lovecraftian : something neverending : something overpowering : something from Ovid’s Metamorphosis : constantly transforming

primordial : growing among the decay : the rot : the hummus holes of homes : the wet humble detritus of life : in a forest : in a cave : somewhere dark : somewhere dank : somewhere quiet : somewhere eternal : somewhere enchanted intertwined entangled beguiled 

yet for all this : passionate : active : evocative : working hard to make the world better : to restore : to regenerate : to rejuvenate 

to con : tinue on

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Day 06 Factoid — Space fungi are badassess

star spores

7 years ago a number of unoffending fungi were deliberately 
attached to the hull of the ISS by malicious scientists

exposing them to a year of space’s malevolent triple threat
cosmic radiation  complete vacuum  & Kelvin-level temps

despite the deep freeze many both survived the ordeal 
& were capable of reproducing themselves afterwards

hinting at the possibility fungi
                             could well be excellent interstellar explorers

Day 05 – the tomb shroom + maybe manna

FOG Day 1 of 2. Nothing like getting it out of the way early on. Another Case Study poem, with a slight difference to yesterday’s & probably all that conceivably will follow it. Note: I’m pretty pleased with today’s poem also which means heavy redaction. 

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Case Study: Aboriri gravis
#2: Tomb Dweller

[please click to enlarge image]

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Factoid Day 05 – TIL I learnt about potential biblical fungi

manna mania

that the bible does not 
mention mushrooms once 
says everything i need to know

yet some cheeky scholars suggest 
the small round things that appear after morning 
dew — are psilocybin mushrooms

Day 08 – why read + empathy

Today’s poem is an attempt at answering a question I get asked often (or variations thereof) — why do you read so much?  It’s a tough one because it seems pretty self-evident to me … but over the years I’ve jotted down various reasons & this poem attempts to pull them together into a cohesive form. It’s possibly still too long & requires an edit. I’ll see how it looks/feels in a couple of weeks’ time.

The Factoid concerns the correlation between empathy & reading fiction …

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why READ : an inexhaustive list

why do I breath : I mean : seriously 

cos I can’t not : compulsion

it’s : escape & refuge : adventureland & safe space : idyllic pasts & dystopian futures : a chance to ignore the dumpster fire that the world constantly seems like it wants to become : just for a few hours 

to get lost : lose time : time travel : to walk a mile : or warp the space time continuum : cause the real world to cease to exist : lose myself : in the wash & flow : of well told tale 

to let this : always overworked brain : go off leash
to glean answers for questions : I didn’t even know : I needed to ask
to explore the beauty : & darkness of humanity : to share a sacred indulgence
to understand myself : others : the world : to heal the wounds : to fill the lonely void of the universe’s vastness with a brief flicker of light

to experience : sustenance : catharsis : terror : joy : sadness : triumphs : heartbreaks : tears & sorrows

to share minds with : philosophers two thousand years dead : Caesars : physicists capable of explaining the universe : poets who explain the human heart : saints & sinners : & tanner’s sons from small market towns who change the world

because I can’t live every life I want to
because I can live lives I wouldn’t want to actually experience but enjoy experiencing 
because it’s fun being thrown into other universes : other time periods : other countries : other cities : other world views : other consciousnesses : other POVs : hell it’s even fun just to be thrown across the street : things look rather different from behind their curtains than mine

relax : after long tiring days
rejuvenate : on days when I have to do : nothing 

I love words
I love stories

I like who I am when I read
I like looking through mirrors & into windows 

I’m a loner who enjoys  solitude  silence  stillness : dreaming while awake

because the alternative : isn’t an option

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Day 08 Factoid – Reading fiction increases empathy

walking a mile in someone’s book

countless studies have shown:

folks who read fiction often
     have greater social cognition (work out what people think & feel)
     are better at measuring interpersonal sensitivity
     are more likely to help 
     can identify, understand, & share in someone else’s feelings
     behave more altruistically
     result in better doctors

so, to repeat 
     reading fiction is empathy-building
     so stop farking about here 
     go read a goddamn novel 
     & become a better person
     you numpty
                             (or words to that effect)

Day 30 — (M)orpheus + Grief Facts

Always pleased when this month is over (“April is the cruellest month” indeed). That said, I’ve been planning for this poem for a while — ever since the inspiration for it came. A variation on much of this month’s stuff …

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(M)orpheus 

in the last bliss-filled : moments before dawn : i complete a poem : i’m soul-fizzingly pleased with

after days of starts & snatches abstract : unoriginal images & clunky similes i’ve completed  : one beautiful thing to pay tribute : to orpheus & his life-destroying doubt

single-handed walked a difficult path : ploughed through prose : purpled : pumpkin patched : & guided : something delicate & rare to the light 

just as i am about to read    :        over it       :     in a highly gleeful, cork-popping : champagne-guzzling celebratory way

a cockatoo screech of alarm : curses me : & those lines : of poetic perfection : whisper away into ether 

like eurydice’s half-smile

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Day 30 — TIL i learnt 7 Facts About Grief & (may have made up) 1 Myth

7 Facts About Grief & 1 Myth

Fact 
#1: Is normal
#2: Hard work
#3: Unpredictable 
#4: It comes & goes
#5: Always takes longer
#6: The way out is through
#7: Yours is the worst kind

Myth 
#1: People recover 

Day 29 — a light sleep

Today’s poem was quick & easy to write (huzzah!). I’ve had this image saved for weeks. I’ve loved it & known I wanted to use it. About a week ago the title came to me; then the basic content/narrative context/mood/emotion I wanted to explore. The rest, as they say …

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light : at the end of the tunnel 


the light : at the end of the tunnel : has tainted me : taunted me : haunted me : since I first saw it : with her : since I last saw : her : drifting into dust : in striking sunshine : dissolving into darkness : would : I could walk : that path again : have those few seconds ago : take ten more steps : five even : would that I could : have been : would that I was : a better man : a stronger man : the world : would look : so much brighter 

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Day 29 — TIL i should be napping more

Nap \Nap\, n. A short sleep; a doze; a siesta.

i.
Definition
A nap is a short period of sleep 
usually occuring during the day.
Already I’m listening …

ii.
Naps can deliver a number of benefits
Brief naps can be restorative & reduce fatigue. 
They may counteract daytime drowsiness.
These both seem self evident, but fair enough

Naps can prevent/improve treatment 
of heart, lung, blood & sleep disorders.
Good-oh. Will take all these

A short daytime snooze may also boost 
workplace performance.
Not as fussed about this but ok

Athletes may experience improved 
endurance, reaction times, & cognitive performance.
Again not overly fussed

iii.
Other health benefits
One study found 
napping 1 or 2 times a week 
was associated with a lower risk 
of cardiovascular problems, 
(heart attack, stroke, heart disease).
Tick tick & tick

Naps may be associated 
with a lowered risk of a 
rupture of aneurysms.
Things stopping things exploding
in my brain are always welcomed

iv.
Tips to Take the Best Nap 
Now we’re talking.

How Long Should a Nap Be? 
The idea adult nap length is
20 minutes but no longer than 30. 
20 minutes’ light sleep boosts
alertness without entering deep
sleep & potential grogginess/

Look to be honest, I think 
I’m gonna take it from here. 
It’s all good. No need to keep 
preaching — we’re singing 
from the same hymn book & what you haven’t 
told me, I think I’ll figure out myself. Infactim 
feelingkinda sleepynowimight\\justgolie
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Day 28 – reducing plagiarism

By this stage of proceedings there are lots of random lines, fragments of poems, copies of poems I’ve read over the past month, research notes, etc. After working on a couple of technically challenging poems that weren’t quite working & feeling decidedly uninspired after several hours successlessness; I decided just to play a game & redact a poem I’d read a couple of weeks ago which had a few interesting lines/images, reducing it down to max of three words per line (per original line), often much less than that. Then subbing words from line 2 down into line 8 & vice versa, then occasionally importing whole new words where it seemed useful, then jiggling lines up or down to help them make a bit more sense. The poem is not quite there & feels a little off but I quite like it even if I’m no 100 per cent what it’s saying in every moment. More work post-NaPoWriMo …

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reduction


wing-covered madness
soul halfdrunk
black liquor lures
delirium, hands sound
victory without valour
terrible-eyed sun
won’t allow respite
beseeched, prayer-pestered
manything torn away 
suffering like rocks
the coming storm
hours of prison
cool hands, sweet
light distant shadows
alien phosphorescent uproar 
comfortless last words

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Day 28 — TIL goldfish are more musically inclined than me

On Thinking It Out, Let’s Get Loud

goldfish can distinguish 
the music of one 
composer from another 
ooh, let’s get it on

just thinking out loud
perhaps they should use them 
to see if Ed Sheeren really
did rip off Marvin Gaye