Day 21 — Caesars: generic + specific

I really enjoyed writing yesterday’s poem based on Sunday’s NaPoWriMo prompt so have decided to try another florilegium. It’s helpful because there are lots of extraordinary mushrooms I’d like to write about but I don’t have the energy to do proper Case Studies on them all (& there’s probably not enough meat, in all their stories as well). Whereas a florilegium has the bonus of being concise — keeping me on task, cos I am something of an initial overwriter.

Plus a couple of the books I’m researching from have beautiful hand drawn illustrations of exactly the type that Sylvia Legris used for her original poems of this type.

The Factoid touches on a popular legend in Roman history — although how accurate it is, historians cannot agree as the sources are scant & somewhat contradictory.

[Disclaimer: Unlike yesterday there is no disclaimer because I have finally caught up. Yay!!!]

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fungilegium: Caesar’s Mushroom
Amanita caesarea

Red. Golden. Orange. Like sunsets. Tasty.
Supposedly reserved for Caesar’s table 
& breadbasket only. Yet the literature immediately
contradicts itself. As it’s found alongside 
old Roman roads. Courtesy the legions. Ave!

Most of its siblings. Look similar but
have poisoned hearts. So take care. 
Eat it. If you dare. But be aware.
It truly is a King’s Egg. Not a Death Cap
or Fly Agaric. Which could kill you quick.

We who are about to die et cetera & so on …

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Day 21 Factoid — Even Roman Emperors Make Bad Decisions

fungi, Claudius

i. While Alive
marry badly/unwisely : four times : the last to a highly ambitious woman : argue lots with her : just so she’s got adequate motivation : (as if making her son Emperor isn’t enough) : to do you in : banquet heartily : including mushrooms : (among your favourites) : watch a theatrical performance : consume whole bowl : of poisoned mushrooms : (possibly Amanita muscaria) : & when that doesn’t completely succeed : perhaps swallow : some poisoned gruel too : linger : a long time : painfully : before dying 

ii. After Death
senators snigger : as your stepson Nero : delivers the expected eulogy : perhaps not quite receiving the respect required : despite this : still achieve deification : although Seneca : somewhat mocked your passage to eternity : in a treatise loosely translated as : ‘The Pumpkinification of the Divine Claudius’ : in it you are depicted as : a bumbling fool : rejected by the gods : your literary counterpart : thinks himself worthy of Olympus : but the gods ridicule him : & he is unceremoniously : packed off to Hades — if only you’d : preferred figs instead

Day 20 — bird’s nests + more dad jokes

Yesterday’s NaPoWriMo optional prompt was:

The word florilegium refers to a book of botanical illustrations of decorative plants and also a collection of excerpts from other writings.  In her poem, “Florilegium,” Canadian poet Sylvia Legris gathers together many five-lined stanzas that describe flowers but also play with the sounds of their names, their medical (or poisonous) qualities, and historical aspects of herbalism. Today, pick a flower [I’ve changed it to fungi]. Now, write your own poem in which you muse on your selections’ names and meanings. 

I’ve chosen this because after the massiveness of the two weekend poems I would like something simple & defined. A five line poem sounds ideal. (I might do a couple, depends how it goes.)

The Factoid revisits a very popular topic from Sunday.

[Disclaimer: As with yesterday’s entry, this poem was written on the correct day (Monday) but was unable to get it online owing to painting again, repercussions of meetings still, & the arduousness of queuing up a near infinite amount of blogs.]

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fungilegium: Bird’s Nest
Cyathus

Whimsy abounds as alternate names 
spore out of the text books
like fungi from the damp dirt.
Elfin Cups, Fairy Goblets, 
Pixie’s Purses, & Splash Cups.

Delicate. Trumpet-shaped nest.
Spores resembling eggs. Hard 
to spot. Allegedly. Make a wish. 
Fairies are nearby. Before the sun 
sprouts the birds away. To kill cancers.

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Day 20 Factoid – This Really Did Happen (Possibly)

A Joke Revisited

A Scot, an Aussie, an Englishman,
& a mushroom walk into a bar

The bartender says, “Sorry sir, you need 
to leave. We’re capacitively maximised.”

Mushroom: “What are you saying?”
Bartender: “There isn’t mushroom!”

[C’mon you’re loving the dad jokes, admit it.]

Day 19 — Menu + Millions

Another teamwork poem today, as a collective of great fungi come together to form a complete poem around a very tasty theme.

The Poetic Factoid is a quickie about the most expensive mushroom out there.

[Disclaimer: As with yesterday’s entry, this poem was written on the correct day (Sunday) but was unable to get it online owing to never-ending mudslides, back to meetings again (should we hold/what to do), & other exhaustions.]

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Case Study: Tastiest Fungi Feast #6: Menu Wish List

[please click to enlarge image]

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Day 19 Factoid – Most Expensive Mushroom

Who wants to be a millionaire mushroom?

Yartsa Gunbu
Ophiocordyceps sinensis
caterpillar fungus 

the fact that it can 
only be found at high altitudes 
on the Tibetan Plateau 
& in the Himalayas

hand-harvested halfway up 
those huge hills while
spring briefly makes
her annual appearance 

means it’s not quite more 
valuable by weight than gold*
going by today’s prices
but it’s pretty darn close

*highest recorded price $138,000 per kg; gold today was selling for $155, 265/kg US.

Day 18 — Penicillium + puns

I present to you today, an ode to the perhaps [definitely?] the greatest of all fungi on earth. This might seem a somewhat cheesy comment but I’ll let you decide once you’ve read. 

The Factoid is finally pulled out of the drawer after holding off on it for, oh 17 & 1/2 days.

[Disclaimer: As with yesterday’s entry, this poem was written on the correct day (Saturday) but was unable to get it online owing to snowballs careening down hills, sports events, & other exhaustions.]

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Case Study: the Penicillium family #5: Fungi’s Most Fantastic?

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Day 18 Factoid – This Really Did Happen (Maybe)

A Joke Repurposed

A Scot, an Aussie, an Englishman,
& a mushroom walk into a bar

The bartender says, “You three look like hoots
But you” (staring at the shroom) “gotta go!”

To which the mushroom whines
“C’mon mate, I’m a fungi too!”

[C’mon yourselves, surely you’ve been 
expecting this to pop up somewhere.]

Day 17 — grans + accents

Today is my grandmother’s birthday anniversary. I’m pretty exhausted at the end of this week so a light playful bit of silliness for gran.

The Poetic Factoid came about because I’m listening to audiobooks with lots of cool facts but which are really irritating in one specific way.

[Disclaimer: As with yesterday’s entry, this poem was written on the correct day (Friday) but was unable to get it online owing to knock-on effects, meetings, & other exhaustions.]

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grandmother mycelium 

without getting all Mushy
in honour of your earth-day
         I wanted to say you were

always the Champignon of grans
always around for Morel support
really knew how to in-spore joy
always calm & kind nothing ever 
         seemed to Truffle your feathers

you were cute as a Button
         completely cap-tivating
the true star of forest & field
may your day be rich golden
         & autumnally earthy in joy

mycelium love is like my-mum’s-mum’s love
         above below & all around us : everywhere

there’s no mushroom for doubt
         you were & always will be sp-awesome

PS I turned out alright too
         not to toot my own Trumpet

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Day 17 Factoid — Some audiobooks are hard to listen to owing to:

the perils of pronunciation

many Americans pronounce fungi 

as ˈfən-ˌjī or fʌndʒaɪ 
         [as if they’re enjoying a dance]
instead of ˈfən-gī or fʌŋgi 
         [hanging round an amusing male]
like right minded English-speakers do

but then, many Americans are also nutters

Day 16 — petroglyphs + mushroom heads

There is a fair bit of rock art around the world depicting mushrooms (& indeed, even mushroom caused euphoria). This one is in the Arctic regions of Siberia & has particularly interesting carvings of mushroom heads.

The Factoid proves via a google search, other kinds of mushroom head are available.

[Disclaimer: As with yesterday’s entry, this poem was written on the correct day (Thursday) but was unable to get it online owing to backlogs, meetings, & other exhaustions.]

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The Pegtymel Petroglyphs
A petroglyph is an image created by removing part of a rock surface by incising, picking, carving, or abrading, as a form of rock art. 

i.
white quartz scratches 
on the faces of over
350 dark stones
fine white lines on
bedrock background
in arctic Siberia 

ii.
arms spread wide
legs slightly bent 
at the knees
humans performing 
a shaman dance
ancient magical ritual

iii.
just your average 
Neolithic art gallery
depicting hunters of bears
whales, deer; sailors; 
traders; artists; &
recreational drug users 

with mushrooms for heads

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Day 16 Factoid – Other Types of Mushroom Heads Exist

Slotted Mushroom Head Screw 
Solid Percussion Fasteners Half Round Button Type GB867 Standard

Not all mushroom heads
Attend mystic gatherings

Some are quite sensible
Practical things

Such as Slotted 
Mushroom Head Screws

Diameter range : M1 – M12 (metric)
Length range : 3mm – 200mm (customized)

Threads: UNC, UNF, ISO, Metric, Imperial, 
Full, Half, Coarse, Fine, Reverse.

In a variety of steels (carbon, stainless, alloy, 
As well as nylon, brass, titanium, aluminium alloy)

Likewise a range of Platings (Zinc Chrome
Powder Sherardizing  Copper Composite )

Silver Cadmium Gold Zinc-Nickel Alloy Electroless Nickel
Blue Zinc Plating Yellow Zinc Plating

Electrophoresis Baking Paint  Rustban Coating
Zinc-Aluminum-Magnesium Teflon (PTFE) etc etc 

(whole lot of coatings possible)

Day 15 —  Psilocybin + Psilocybe 

The Festival of Grief has been subdued again this year which is surely a positive sign. Healing perhaps has arrived. The text is a compilation / reinterpretation / reworking of many people’s descriptions of what taking psilocybin felt like for them. I found the content both online in various forums & chats as well as in my printed books.

The Poetic Factoid is borderline abuse.

[Disclaimer: As with yesterday’s entry, this poem was written on the correct day (Wednesday) but was unable to get it online owing to painting, meetings, & other exhaustions.]

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Psilocybin 

you say it feels like : you’re losing your sense of self : shedding it : that it blows your mind : puts all things into perspective : clears your thinking : connects you with the universe : expands who you are : what you know : what you could be : unravels obstacles & obstructions : achieve transcendental introspection : omniscient understanding of self : the most profound lesson you learn is : how : to be your true pure self

you say it : reduces social anxiety : helps overcome severe trauma, PTSD, & extreme depression : the trauma of growing up in an evangelical church : kept you clean from cocaine & heroin for 15 years : your self loathing’s disappeared : losing your inner hate was a miracle : freed you of so much baggage : got your life back on track : become more focused, more functional : removed your mum’s end of life pain

you are kinder, more considerate, patient, peaceful : you are growing old with grace : with more joy : delight : you feel compassion for everything in existence : find every moment fascinating : see the complex synchronicity : hear for the first time : the beautiful song of the cosmos 

shows you there is infinitely more than meets the eye : allows you to look at everything in a new light : teaches perspective : to live life in such a way : it allows you to reach the highest state of consciousness possible : to achieve that infinite goal of divinity : death no longer scares : death is simply a new beginning of something ended 

formerly you were : a dry river bed : now feel full & flowing : you are the universe : & the universe is you : the stars rush towards you : swallow you up : you travel back in time : to the Big Bang : you are the Big Bang : you are everything : you talk to God : you sit with Buddha under the bodhi tree : you walk with Jesus on a beach : you speak to dead relatives 

all i seek : is three minutes : with my beautiful babies : to know you’re all okay

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Day 15 Factoid – Sometimes Names Can Be Unkind 

Psilocybe (genus name)

relatively modern word
coined in the 1950s
using modern Latin
from the Greek psilos 
meaning bald
& kubē meaning head

not quite sure 
how i feel about this

Day 14 — Triptastic + naming systems

This was a challenging poem to write because it took on a tone & indeed life of its own which was not what I was intending: trying to imagine myself as a species of mushroom. Things quickly went awry when some of the phrases demanded more like them, then counterpoints to them, then it just kept going. Slowly & surely spreading into what it is. A strange yet compelling little creature.

The Factoid is both a joke and a deadly serious accusation; a lightweight little pome which is also doing a lot of heavy lifting.

[As with yesterday’s entry, this poem was written on the correct day (Tuesday) but was unable to get it online owing to online courses, meetings, & other exhaustions.]

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Day 13 Factoid – Scientists Need to Pull Their Collective Fingers Out

Binomial Oversight

there is no
fungi named 
after me           yet

Day 13 — a song of noble rot + ice

Based on a true story (& abetted by my long abiding love for sweet dessert wine). Did it stem from this event? I can’t say. But it’s nice to acknowledge one of the fungi kingdom’s less glamorous members. 

The Factoid comes from an episode of Jancis Robinson’s Wine Course (first screened in 2003) & which has stuck with me to this day. One day …

[Disclaimer: This poem was written on the correct day (Monday) but was unable to get it online owing to online courses, meetings, & other exhaustions.]

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Day 14 Factoid – Some Crazy Germans Make Wine From Ice

Eiswein

Take good grapes
Free of rot
Do not pick them

Wait till winter
Till they all freeze
Then quick as you can

Get everyone out
With frozen fingers
Grab them all at once

Crush. Ferment. Drink.
Get very silly. (Hic.)
On that very sweet juice.

Something I’ve never tried
But would like to
(The getting silly mainly)

[Happy to let someone else do the rest]

Day 12 — the third kingdom + nice mice

Today’s poem is about a phrase I’ve not read a lot in my research but it’s one I like (it’s a possible volume title). The pome I don’t think is quite there yet (at least it doesn’t do exactly what I wanted it to) but I’m tired & it’s getting late.

The Poetic Factoid is yet another reason we shouldn’t give scientists money to research things.

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The Third Kingdom 

since 

infancy we are taught
all about our world’s 
wonderful flora & fauna

yet 

there are three F’s 
three kingdoms of life
fungi’s always forgotten

why?

fungi are the glue 
holding earth together
turning waste to nutrients 

&

every plant is linked
intrinsically to fungi via
mycorrhizal symbiosis 

even

our human bodies
are shared with as many 
as 200 fungi in & on us

they are in every sense the keystone kingdom

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Day 12 Factoid – Fungi Affects Rodents in Alarming Ways 

friendly fungi

i.
Candida albicans added to the guts 
of mice made them more resilient
to bacterial infections blah blah blah 

ii.
more disturbingly — fungi-mice 
became more sociable (more so
the higher the ratio of gut fungi)

iii.
there is no evidence yet
this study can be extrapolated
to surly humans (thankfully)