(Hour 09) 6.30-7.30am — #38 “Christmas cake”

#38

living in Oz
where Christmas
is in summer
& the temps are
usually in the high 30’s
i don’t think we’ve
ever had a special
Christmas Cake

Wikipedia tells me
a favourite of many
is the traditional Scottish
Christmas cake
the Whisky Dundee
— apparently the cake
originated in Dundee/

no need to go on
you had me at whisky

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as much as i like this one, I feel it is a bit cheeky, given I finished it in the first 9 minutes of the hour. so presenting a bonus poem on the same theme.

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Christmas Cake: or how to survive the festive season
a poetic recipe

Servings 10 (I have a large family, so this won’t be enough, I’ll be doubling the recipe)
Time 4 days approx (it won’t take that long, seriously: not the way I make it)
Difficulty moderate

Christmas cake is a fruitcake traditionally served around Christmas in the UK, especially after long walks to be had with tea. (Hahaha, yeah right.)

Ingredients
To make a round 10-inch diameter cake.  (20-inch, we’re doubling remember)

The fruit
600 g currants
400 g sultanas
400 g glacé cherries, quartered
200 g raisins
100 g cut candied peel
200 ml sherry
100 ml brandy
50 ml kirsch (or rum)

The cake mixture
4 medium eggs
300 g lightly salted soft margarine
300 g dark brown sugar
100 g self-raising flour
200 g plain flour
100 g finely-chopped almonds
2 teaspoons of ground mixed spice
2 tablespoons of black treacle

Method
The fruit
Throw the fruit & cake mixture away. It’s an unnecessary distraction. Consume all the sherry, brandy & rum. (Remember we needed to double the recipe, possibly triple it, just to be safe.)  Some people like to pour all three into a tall glass & drink as one, just to make it feel a bit more Christmassy, but separately is fine too.

The cake mixture
Did you not read above? Seriously!

Cooking
If you’re not cooked after this, make your way onto whatever remains in the bottles. You’re welcome. If this doesn’t help you survive the Silly Season, I really don’t think you’re trying hard enough.

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#20. Not too bad. Three choices.

(Hour 08) 5.30-6.30am — #21 “Key of the door”

#21

if only i was
21 again
i’d be with you
all in the middle
of our mad glory
& this time
i’d appreciate it
(i promise)
it was just my age
which made me
act the fool before

they say
at 21 watch your son
they don’t tell you
after you’re given
the key to the door
which opens
onto white
you will lose it
then there will
be little more
that brings joy

all your guns
have gone off
& you’re left
with a roil salute
of silence

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Sigh! #38. Only two words on this piece of paper.

(Hour 07) 4.30-5.30am — #84 “Seven dozen”

seven dozen really inspire one — & at least one site suggests a modern call for #84 is Dumbledore, so it’s a no brainer

#84
Homage to the Old Bumblebee

born in Mould-on-the-Wold
a mildewing village, of honey

buzzes round his kingdom castle
bee-humming, pollenating minds

weight-of-the-wizard-world bearer
secretknower, secretkeeper, burdened

keeps the darkness at bay
through whimsy & play

eyes blue enough to pierce souls
twinklekind & full of mischief

the one who knows
but would rather not

but as someone must
— it is he who knows

84

At last! #21. Lots of choices at last.

(Hour 06) 3.30-4.30am — #79 “One more time”

#79

One more time

i want to stand beneath stars
looking back to the beginning
surf the wave, slide the rainbow

fall like a drop into your ocean
leap from clouds, all the cliches
with you … just one more time

put my arms round your neck
get nervous, run from trouble
into trouble, drive the dark road

i want to borrow time, steal it,
once upon it, machine it — all
one. more. time.

i just want to do these extra
ordinary things with you again
one more time

…………………  … till the end of time

BingoMade

FFS! #84. I’m going batty.

(Hour 05) 2.30-3.30am — #64 “Red raw”

I admit to being a trifle sneaky on this one — but how can you not when you get this call. It’s a googletranslate poem of The Beatles When I’m Sixty Four (going from English, to German, to Polish, to Russian, then back to English — the logic behind the language changes should be obvious. A few more would’ve given a more eclectic result, but this version has a nice cold Communist authoritarianism about it) 🙂

#64

“If I Sixtyfour”

When I get older losing hair
Many years later,
Will you still send me a Valentine
Birthday greetings, bottle of wine?
If I had done with the two forty-five
Do you want to close the door?
Do I need to, you feed me yet
If I had sixty-four?

They are older
And if you say the word
Can I stay with you

I could be handy, repair fuse
If you have lights
You can knit a sweater by the fireplace
On Sunday morning for a walk
Here the garden, digging the weeds
Do you want more?
Do I need to, you feed me yet
If I had sixty-four?

Every summer we can rent a cottage on the Isle of Wight
If it is too expensive
We will be very rich and save
Grandchildren on their knees
Vera, Chuck and Dave

Send me a postcard, drop me a line
Overview Statement
Enter exactly what you mean.
Sincerely, spending
Give me an answer, fill in the form
Mine always
Do I need to, you feed me yet
If I had sixty-four?
Ho!

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Dear god! #79. I know there’s low numbers in there, I do, I cut the damn things up myself.

(Hour 04) 1.30-2.30am — #71 “Bang on the drum”

(Finally caught up. So to coffee #2 & a small chocolaty treat)

#71

when i was at uni, i was in a band
(one half of an average rhythm section)
the other louder half always said:
“save a drum, bang a drummer”
i’m not sure that line ever worked
but, i couldn’t talk: being the bassist

as far as bangs go, it wasn’t
the biggest, nor by any stretch
the best, it was simply the last
which is the reason i remember
our vocalist punched the drummer
midway through Maggie’s Farm

& so the less-than-stellar musical career of
The (Quantum) Mechanical Engineers … ended

OldBingoCard

NB I’ve decided (now I’m on a roll) to give a preview of my next number. This time it is #64. Please gimme some more low ones soon universe.

(Hour 03) 12.30-1.30am — #4 “Knock at the door”

#04

when inspiration knocks
open the door —
it might be : heaven ; or the devil ;
a child playing pranks
before running & hiding
& no one is there ;

it might :  the man of spiders ;
a giant ; rust ; the danger
& the one who knocks
when things break bad ;
a naked woman (unlikely) ;
or your naked self (more so) ;

it might be : the light ; pixie
dust ; a gateway into a tree ;
the new year ; or tomorrow ; or forever ;
whatever —
just open your door
walk outside

then knock on mine
— find me

bingo-score-card-17846751

(Hour 02) 11.30pm-12.30am — #39 “Those famous steps”

#39

wooden stairs
go down to the beach
& little girls who’ve
just learnt to count
go up & down them
gleefully announcing
how many there are

i am sick with ulcers
& cannot make
the journey myself
so every day
must
descend & ascend
on the backs
of my daughters

welts on my wrists
from the long days
of being handcuffed
to my age

so i watch the birds
from my rear window
avoiding vertigo
yet when the wind
is southerly
i know a hawk
from a heron, sure

OldBingoCard

(Hour 01) 10.30-11.30pm — #41 “Time for fun”

Oh man, so it turns out, despite everything, I still got my times wrong & it started an hour earlier than my foolish brain had convinced itself. So I’m already an behind the bingo ball. Story of my life.

Anyhoo, first number drawn was 41. & I groaned when I saw it.

#41
They say it’s the time for fun
They say it’s when life’s begun
I agree tit for tat
But do you say that
Knowing I’ve done your mum

They go only get better right. Let’s hope so.

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“Eyes down” — we’re off.

Okay we’ve gone to bed at the unholy hour of 8pm & woken again at 10.30pm, feeling surprisingly refreshed. We’ve showered & shaved & slipped into our freshly laundered tracky daks & dressing gown (well we considered shaving & decided against it, again). We’ve broken our fast. We’ve got coffee on the go. Workspace is clearest it’s been in years. & we’re … waiting for wifi to kick in …

& we’re off.

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clean poetry creation station

the contents of the hat

the contents of the hat