The Festival of Grief feels somewhat lessened this time around. Perhaps partly because I. of the publication of my poetry books last year. And II. Because only one date falls into Na/GloPoWriMo timeframe. And just for today I’m ignoring the Poetic Factoid component to write a second free form poetical sketch.
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FOGhead
My foggy head has ached all morning & I cannot understand why Grateful outside is a slow still day The only anniversary this year As Easter Sunday was the last Mad day of a manic March
I sit underneath the sunshine & hear the multiplicity of birds Who share my trees carry on Countless continuous conversations Always moving through air urgent To be some where they are not
Whereas it is my everlasting wish To be wherever you are when you went
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Day 15 – TI Ignored the Poetic Factoid assignment
interdimensional radar
as much as i want to take pain relief to less the graine
i also don’t in case it’s caused by you trying to get through
These guys have been in my poetic sights ever since I first read This Changes Everything. I regularly cite the key tenet of this poem in discussion with CC deniers.
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Heartlessland
i. one of the most strident climate change deniers is american conservative
think tank — & i use those words advisedly — the heartland institute
by rabidly rejecting the scientific consensus on climate change it has done
perhaps more damage than even the trillion dollar fossil fuel corporations
that put us here
ii. to the surprise of no one this organisation took the coin of tobacco giant philip morris
spent the 90s discrediting smoking’s health impacts, the risk of secondhand smoke & fighting smoking bans
i guess that says it all
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Day 12 – TI Wrote some heart poems as easy as shooting fish in a barrel
miles & litres
supposedly my heart pumps almost 7 litres of blood around
the over 60, 000 miles of blood vessels in my body
every. single. minute.
& i’ve driven each. & every one of them twice. looking for the slightest signpost that you still love me
BONUS #1 — above average
the average heart beat of a woman is (on average) 8 beats a minute faster than a man’s — assuming it beats at all
(i always said you weren’t average)
BONUS #2 — all I want for Xmas
each year more heart attacks occur on Christmas Day than any other
Monday, likewise, has more cardiac assaults than any other day of the week
Lookout 2028 emergency rooms when Christmas falls on a Monday!
Reading It’s Not that Radical: Climate Action to Transform Our World & Mikaela Loach talks about how not everyone in the movement needs to be a front line activist. Everyone has their role to plan … & grass roots movements only succeed if there’s a broad spectrum of supporters doing a range of roles. Which got me think. The Poetic Factoid started as a joke google, & I’m still not 100% sure if it’s a real thing, but I went with it anyway.
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imposter
for a long time : i’ve wanted : to do more : to be more : active : to fight harder : for the world : i want : the world : i believe : we all deserve : but at the same time : i’ve suffered : impostor syndrome : because : after all : what have i : really : got to offer : what do i know : of struggle : i’m a reasonably : well off white man : in a reasonably affluent society : who has more : than the majority of : most people on the planet : i want to speak up : but i fear my voice : or voices like it : have been heard : too much : for too long : already : & in many ways : is/are largely responsible : for the very mess : we’re in ; i want to whisper : but i’m different : but am i : after all : with all my : bundled up griefs : & rookie mistakes : blundering bumbling bumping through life : not deliberating setting : out to harm : but doing so : anyone : what good : after all : will my contribution : be : to the cause : to any cause : to all causes
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Day 11 – TIL about a potential self diagnosis
Composter syndrome
a psychological phenomenon affecting compulsive individuals incredibly unlike me who may exhibit the following characteristics:
i. obsessive attention: preoccupied with composting that perfect balance of organic matter temperature control, & moisture
ii. perfectionism: always researching alternate techniques experimenting with multiple systems striving for the ideal mix composition, texture, & odour & heartbroken when it fails to meet self-imposed standard
iii. waste management anxiety: deep responsibility concerning environmental sustainability heightened guilt when organic waste is discarded rather than transformed into nutrient-rich compost
so very not me till i realised, last night i accidentally peed on the compost heap
it was no moon dark & i’d taken the dog out & now i’m freaking out in case i’ve totally wrecked the nitrogen balance
Four of the past five nights I’ve fallen asleep, sitting upright in my computer chair. I’m feeling totally run down. Writing the poems is wonderful as always. But draining when combined with actually trying to live a life also. So even though I’m not sure what this topic is going to be, I do know. It has to be short. I can’t endure a long session today. I’m working on poems about Sacrifice Zones & NIMBY politics (Not In My Back Yard). So this little lightly ironic poem was pretty easy to write. Just what I needed.
The Poetic Factoid was found on the same page as other research & made my day simpler.
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fracking NIMBYism
no one likes fracking near them no, not even Exxon King CEO & briefly US Secretary of State under Donald. J. Drumpf — Rex Tillerson — who once joined a lawsuit opposing fracking near his $5 million Texas home worried it would lower property values
Rex drops his own microphone
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Day 10 – TIL aboutelection contributions
Republican Rex
Rex has given a total of $468,970 in contributions to Republican candidates & committees between 2000 to 2016
according to Federal Election Commission records he contributed to the campaigns of
George W. Bush Mitt Romney Mitch McConnell Jeb Bush
ironically (or not) he never donated to Donald J Drumpf
Climate Change is going to affect different parts of the world slightly differently (mostly the same broad brush strokes, but the detail will vary from place to place). For several years I’ve been collecting examples of things that will in all probability be affected right here in Oz (itself a wildly diverse ecosystem/area) under the working titles of — ecosystems : species : food and farming : water : coastal erosion : health : damage to homes & property : coral bleaching : miscellaneous.
The poem is a poetic attempt at breaking down all the fun things we’ve got to look forward to. I’m sharing just the Species section of the poem. (Not doubt this first draft will have new consequences added to it, as I research further. It’s been ever growing for the past 4 years, don’t see it changing now.)
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So many consequences …
ii. species
One in six : faces ex:tinc:tion risk
To survive plants : animals : & birds alike must : move : adapt or : die
But climate change : is happening : so fast it’s often im:possible : for species to adapt : swiftly enough : to evolve : with their ever-changing : environments : with changing seasons : with timings in the rest of the web : altered : delayed : enhanced : shunted : days, even weeks : out of whack
And even : if they could : move : swiftly enough the sheer : volume of human-driven : habitat destruction makes moving : moot ; kinda hard to move : when : there’s no place left
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Day 08 – TIL about the pachyderms outside the room
Bill’s Moving Tales
1. Supposedly the average person (Bill) moves residences 11.7 times in their lives 2. Allegedly it is the 3rd most stressful event in Bill’s life (behind death & divorce) 3. Apparently 55% of Bill’s moves happen in the summer 4. Purportedly Bill needs around 60 cardboard boxes to move all their stuff 4b. Reputedly 60 cardboard boxes is equivalent to around 6,500 pounds — or as part of the penchant for Americans using anything except the metric system to describe things — the size of a smallish-sized elephant
5. All I know is, when the truck with the shipping container filled to the brim with most of my books tried, it couldn’t make it up the gentle slope of Gully Hill & had to go the long way round (not enough torque or cylinder size or something — definitely *not* too. many. books).
Today my housemate spent large parts of his day in other roles: netball selector & volunteer firefighter.
The serious poem began playing with synonyms … & then stayed that way cos I was too exhausted to work it further … but I think it’s kind of fun for a first draft. Reflects how I feel consuming lots of climate change literature.The factoid came when it was suggested (perhaps facetiously) that I should write a netball poem. Regardless, challenge accepted.
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9:burnonyms
1. our house is burning : on fire : alight : ablaze, blazing ; it’s going up : up in smoke : in flames : aflame : it smoulders : flares : flashes : flickers
2. we’ve burned all the letters : set fire to : set on fire : set alight : set light to : lit : set burning : ignited : put a match to ; kindled : incinerate : reduce to ashes : destroy by fire ; torch : inflame
3. we forgot to turn off the iron & nearly burned the sky : scorch : singe : sear : char : blacken : discolour : brand ; scald ; cauterise : calcine ; torrefy
4. our lungs burn with humiliation : be hot : be warm : feel hot : be feverish : be fevered : be on fire; blush : redden : be red :: go red : go pink : turn red : turn crimson : turn scarlet : flush : colour : crimson
5. our lip burns where our teeth have pierced it : smart : sting : tingle : prick : prickle : be irritated : be sore : hurt : be painful : throb : ache
6. earth is burning with curiosity : at what is still to come : be consumed by/with : be eaten up by/with : be obsessed by/with : be tormented by/with : be bedevilled by
7. some (but not enough) are burning with fury that so little is being done : we seethe : boil : fume : smoulder : simmer : be boiling over : be beside oneself ; be livid : be wild : jump up & down : froth/foam at the mouth
8. people differ considerably in the energy they burn up : use up : consume : expend : get through : go through : dissipate : eat up : exhaust
9. i burn to know what the secret is : yearn : long : have a longing : ache : be aching : itch : be itching : desire : be consumed with the desire : want : want badly : be unable to wait : be eager : be desperate : hanker : have a hankering : wish : crave : lust : pant : hunger : be hungry : be greedy : thirst : be thirsty ; have a yen : yen : be dying; archaic be athirst : be desirous
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Day 7 – TIL about an odd netball name
ball games, sprawling names
netball once was known as basketball — wait let me start again
in 1891 basnetketball began life with : just 13 rules as a 9 versus 9 game ; using an old soccer ball ; two wall-mounted peach baskets as goals & incorporated rules from duck on a rock (a medieval kid’s game played as a child)
for about 3 seconds it was called Naismith Game after its inventor — but he hated that & said “we have a ball & a basket: why not basketball?”
a female physical culture instructor tweaked several rules them to make them more decorous for ladies misunderstood others & called the resultant hodgepodge basquette
in 1893 : Madame Österberg who advocated : female physical fitness thereby better preparing : for motherhood not to mention : emancipation : generally tossed a version : of the new sport across the sea : to her English college students
tweaks a couple years later by American lecturer : Dr Toles played with waste paper baskets : on walls without lines : boundaries : or circles
more revisions : 1897 from another American teacher : Miss Porter moved outdoors : onto grass courts divided : into three zones : replaced baskets : with ringed : nets
hence : net ball which went : imperial thrown : to all quarters of the Empire caught in Oz possibly as early as 1897 though most say : turn of the century
despite being : netball : everywhere else the Aussies & Kiwis kept : the name women’s basketball : until 1970
at which point I can finally return to my initial remarks —
netball once was known as basketball in fact, it was still that when we Ango Panthers won our previous A-Grade premiership but. no. more. — we are now : reigning : BLG : netball premiers
It’s strange how often the poem you set out to write, morphs into something unexpected. I began the evening playing with climate “cliches” — things deniers say to disprove/discredit the science — & trying to tweak them into new forms. Which lead to a poem I’m pretty pleased with using a quote from Ronald Reagan (implementor of the neo-liberal “experiment” in America). Because I like its potential, I’m only going to share a few lines: the opening ones & ones near the very end to give a taste of it.
Today’s Poetic Factoid practically wrote itself as the idea/awareness has been in my mind ever since I read Peter Wohlleben’s The Hidden Life of Trees: What They Feel, How They Communicate: Discoveries from a Secret World several years ago. There are so many cool tree facts I could write dozens of factoids & one day just might … one fact I couldn’t fit in this time, is that trees can recognise their own kin!
NB These poems were written yesterday, but when I startled myself awake at the keyboard at 12.22am I realised I needed to go to bed & upload them later. Hence, this…
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barking up
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best is today.
neo-liberals have long believed a tree is just a tree how many must you look at to know a forest?
no doubt Reagan & his ilk never planted a tree under whose shade — they never expected to sit
trees are connected : by their toetips via : an underground fungal internet the wood wide web : a mycorrhizal symbiosis of mutual benefit : root-clinging fungi aids tree absorb extra water & nutrients from soil : tree reciprocates by sharing : tasty photosynthesised sugars
trees even text : messaging : when insects attack : the victim warns : trigger defences : networks have hubs : older : larger : “mothers” connected to : hundreds of younger ones who send : excess carbon through the system to understory seedlings : quadrupling their chance of surviving
more evidence : of collective strength : over separatism
Always pleased when this month is over (“April is the cruellest month” indeed). That said, I’ve been planning for this poem for a while — ever since the inspiration for it came. A variation on much of this month’s stuff …
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(M)orpheus
in the last bliss-filled : moments before dawn : i complete a poem : i’m soul-fizzingly pleased with
after days of starts & snatches abstract : unoriginal images & clunky similes i’ve completed : one beautiful thing to pay tribute : to orpheus & his life-destroying doubt
single-handed walked a difficult path : ploughed through prose : purpled : pumpkin patched : & guided : something delicate & rare to the light
just as i am about to read : over it : in a highly gleeful, cork-popping : champagne-guzzling celebratory way
a cockatoo screech of alarm : curses me : & those lines : of poetic perfection : whisper away into ether
like eurydice’s half-smile
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Day 30 — TIL i learnt 7 Facts About Grief & (may have made up) 1 Myth
7 Facts About Grief & 1 Myth
Fact #1: Is normal #2: Hard work #3: Unpredictable #4: It comes & goes #5: Always takes longer #6: The way out is through #7: Yours is the worst kind
Today’s poem was quick & easy to write (huzzah!). I’ve had this image saved for weeks. I’ve loved it & known I wanted to use it. About a week ago the title came to me; then the basic content/narrative context/mood/emotion I wanted to explore. The rest, as they say …
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light : at the end of the tunnel
the light : at the end of the tunnel : has tainted me : taunted me : haunted me : since I first saw it : with her : since I last saw : her : drifting into dust : in striking sunshine : dissolving into darkness : would : I could walk : that path again : have those few seconds ago : take ten more steps : five even : would that I could : have been : would that I was : a better man : a stronger man : the world : would look : so much brighter
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Day 29 — TIL i should be napping more
Nap \Nap\, n. A short sleep; a doze; a siesta.
i. Definition A nap is a short period of sleep usually occuring during the day. Already I’m listening …
ii. Naps can deliver a number of benefits Brief naps can be restorative & reduce fatigue. They may counteract daytime drowsiness. These both seem self evident, but fair enough
Naps can prevent/improve treatment of heart, lung, blood & sleep disorders. Good-oh. Will take all these
A short daytime snooze may also boost workplace performance. Not as fussed about this but ok
Athletes may experience improved endurance, reaction times, & cognitive performance. Again not overly fussed
iii. Other health benefits One study found napping 1 or 2 times a week was associated with a lower risk of cardiovascular problems, (heart attack, stroke, heart disease). Tick tick & tick
Naps may be associated with a lowered risk of a rupture of aneurysms. Things stopping things exploding in my brain are always welcomed
iv. Tips to Take the Best Nap Now we’re talking.
How Long Should a Nap Be? The idea adult nap length is 20 minutes but no longer than 30. 20 minutes’ light sleep boosts alertness without entering deep sleep & potential grogginess/
Look to be honest, I think I’m gonna take it from here. It’s all good. No need to keep preaching — we’re singing from the same hymn book & what you haven’t told me, I think I’ll figure out myself. Infactim feelingkinda sleepynowimight\\justgolie ……………………….…………………………………………d ………………………………..………..……………………….. o ……………………………..………………………………….. w
By this stage of proceedings there are lots of random lines, fragments of poems, copies of poems I’ve read over the past month, research notes, etc. After working on a couple of technically challenging poems that weren’t quite working & feeling decidedly uninspired after several hours successlessness; I decided just to play a game & redact a poem I’d read a couple of weeks ago which had a few interesting lines/images, reducing it down to max of three words per line (per original line), often much less than that. Then subbing words from line 2 down into line 8 & vice versa, then occasionally importing whole new words where it seemed useful, then jiggling lines up or down to help them make a bit more sense. The poem is not quite there & feels a little off but I quite like it even if I’m no 100 per cent what it’s saying in every moment. More work post-NaPoWriMo …
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reduction
wing-covered madness soul halfdrunk black liquor lures delirium, hands sound victory without valour terrible-eyed sun won’t allow respite beseeched, prayer-pestered manything torn away suffering like rocks the coming storm hours of prison cool hands, sweet light distant shadows alien phosphorescent uproar comfortless last words
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Day 28 — TIL goldfish are more musically inclined than me
On Thinking It Out, Let’s Get Loud
goldfish can distinguish the music of one composer from another ooh, let’s get it on
just thinking out loud perhaps they should use them to see if Ed Sheeren really did rip off Marvin Gaye
gareth roi poet boi 