Tag Archives: griefsadness

Day 20 — personal readings + brief verses

A second Festival of Grief poem although far from the worst day I’ve endured in these past 35 years. Playing round with the meaning of the word “reading” based around verses pertinent to today. I love how a theme can forge a type of poem you’d never consider otherwise. Factoid is short sharp & shiny.

*****

Three Readings

Halfwit 15:4 – And, behold, there was a great downpour upon the holy day: and the stone was rolled back, and all the waters swirled in fury down the hole; and the angel cried out in pain, and called his name; and lo, he ran in, but nothing could he do except embrace her for the messenger of the Lord had already decided, what was to be, and had descended from heaven, and sat upon their hopes. 

Fishtail 15:6 – And when they looked, they saw that another had come in, swiftly, sudden and unexpected, like a guest in the night filling that room from whence the stone had previously been rolled away: but lo, though she was quiet and calm and oh so gentle, she likewise could not stay; for her need elsewhere was very great; and so she departed causing a second great pain to the angels. 

Hijinks 21:7 – And so in this way, many moons passed and the dark cave was almost but not entirely forgotten, until much perplexed thereabouts, they found the old stone rolled across and the angels hearts’ at once gladdened and grew afraid lest the sadness be returned; and so it indeed came to pass that before the season’s end, two messengers stood by them in shining garments; took their hands and lead them away from the sepulchre to whence they were never to return. 

*****

Day 20 Factoid – shortest bible verse (is very short)

John 11:35

the short
est verse
in the Bi
ble is also
my favo
urite …

Jesus wept. 

Day 15 —  FOGhead + radar 

The Festival of Grief feels somewhat lessened this time around. Perhaps partly because I. of the publication of my poetry books last year. And II. Because only one date falls into Na/GloPoWriMo timeframe. And just for today I’m ignoring the Poetic Factoid component to write a second free form poetical sketch.

*****

FOGhead

My foggy head has ached all morning
& I cannot understand why
Grateful outside is a slow still day
The only anniversary this year
As Easter Sunday was the last 
Mad day of a manic March

I sit underneath the sunshine
& hear the multiplicity of birds 
Who share my trees carry on
Countless continuous conversations
Always moving through air urgent
To be some where they are not

Whereas it is my everlasting wish
To be wherever you are when you went

*****

Day 15 – TI Ignored the Poetic Factoid assignment 

interdimensional radar

as much as i want 
to take pain relief
to less the graine

i also don’t in case
it’s caused by you 
trying to get through

Day 17 — Day 2 of the Festival of Grief

Today really is symbolic of more than just one loss: it’s a conglomeration of three anniversaries in one. The other two (one in June, one in July) grieve me too — but as they do not fall within Glo/NaPoWriMo they don’t usually get poems written about them. (Though the days of the FoG aren’t the only times poems get written or thoughts get thought about this topic). 

Given this month’s theme is love I’ve decided to deliberately include all three griefs in one poem. On the plus side, there are a multiplicity of loves on display within the poem, so it works on many levels.

Today’s poem is paired with one I wrote 28 years ago. It is included as bonus: an Easter egg if you like, not that you have to look too hard to find it.

advice from a fish

although today
commemorates
the first loss

you’re in countless 
poems, plays, story ideas
all three of you

for endless sorrowfilled years 
i wore your rings
round my neck

till they got 
too heavy to endure
& i was told 

by the fish 
for my own sanity 
take them off 

you knew too well
without the self-flagellation
of my despair

*****

BONUS POEM:

3 silver rings

around her neck
she wears three silver rings
on a gold chain
   & crucifix
one, a rose
one, a gallic cross
& one, all stars & moons

one each
for every child
which never was

Day 15 —  Day 1 of the Festival of Grief

My two wallowversaries are quite close together this year — Good Friday & Easter Sunday. GF being Day 1 of the Festival of Grief, ES Day 2. Each year I don’t know whether I’ll write about my grief on the date it happened or the day. Some years it’s both. The interesting thing about choosing a theme for the month is it makes me approach topics I’ve written about countless times with fresh eyes. Such as this …

to pin a wish

my only-ever astral child 
my first star girl
my free spirit
my whispered wish

only briefly tethered 
postmarked but never delivered 
addressed but never sent
never faded 
never dimmed
always present
in my heart 

would’ve loved you 
with my whole soul
every ether of being
guided you from child 
to woman as best i

cradled you
comforted you
held eggshell close
gifted free range
love love loved 

walked you down 
any aisle — assuming 
i could see given 
my eyes are waterfalls 
simply imagining 
such moments

the first wish i’d make
if any benevolent genie
ever give me a chance

my beautiful wondrous 
astral-only child 
my heart was torn away 
the day you ran red
down your mother’s legs

Day 16 — desperation

Today’s poem (ironically) is an offshoot of the one I was working on yesterday. This is more like the poem I had in my head when I began yesterday; even if it didn’t end up there.

desperation

the more i read
about what we need to change
if we are to change
climate change’s worst potential
outcomes
the more desperate & depressed 
i become

to the point where i am glad 
i haven’t brought kids
into the world we are daily
terradeforming

but thankfully
that madness passes
to be replaced
by the old ongoing
sadness