Day 11 — imposter + composter syndrome

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Reading It’s Not that Radical: Climate Action to Transform Our World & Mikaela Loach talks about how not everyone in the movement needs to be a front line activist. Everyone has their role to plan … & grass roots movements only succeed if there’s a broad spectrum of supporters doing a range of roles. Which got me think. The Poetic Factoid started as a joke google, & I’m still not 100% sure if it’s a real thing, but I went with it anyway. 

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imposter 

for a long time : i’ve wanted : to do more : to be more : active : to fight harder : for the world : i want : the world : i believe : we all deserve : but at the same time : i’ve suffered : impostor syndrome : because : after all : what have i : really : got to offer : what do i know : of struggle : i’m a reasonably : well off white man : in a reasonably affluent society : who has more : than the majority of : most people on the planet : i want to speak up : but i fear my voice : or voices like it : have been heard : too much : for too long : already : & in many ways : is/are largely responsible : for the very mess : we’re in ; i want to whisper : but i’m different : but am i : after all : with all my : bundled up griefs : & rookie mistakes : blundering bumbling bumping through life : not deliberating setting : out to harm : but doing so : anyone : what good : after all : will my contribution : be : to the cause : to any cause : to all causes

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Day 11 – TIL about a potential self diagnosis

Composter syndrome

a psychological phenomenon affecting
compulsive individuals incredibly unlike me
who may exhibit the following characteristics:

i. obsessive attention: 
preoccupied with composting
that perfect balance of organic matter
temperature control, & moisture 

ii. perfectionism: 
always researching alternate techniques 
experimenting with multiple systems
striving for the ideal mix
composition, texture, & odour
& heartbroken when it fails 
to meet self-imposed standard

iii. waste management anxiety: 
deep responsibility concerning
environmental sustainability
heightened guilt when organic waste 
is discarded rather than transformed
into nutrient-rich compost

so very not me till i realised, last night
i accidentally peed on the compost heap

it was no moon dark & i’d taken the dog out 
& now i’m freaking out in case i’ve totally wrecked the nitrogen balance

Day 15 — Day 2 of the Festival of Grief: dream + &

With Big O & Eurydice being the theme this year, it feels a little like every day/poem explores the issue of grief so at times I’m not sure whose writing what about whom or when. The only thing I am sure of is why.

dream

always know when you dream 
of me — it’s why i never sleep.

abandon the rasping light of day 
to pretend you’re calling my name.

the hazy lamps murky blue 
dragging me from the road.

walk on without knowing the way
repeating thought eternally fast, faster.

tracing back black stone steps
down again into echoing caves.

the dog by the great gates 
barks three times, or once each.

the blood river creases & curdles
with endless ponderous energy.

always knowing i’ll never find you
— we exist in incompatible worlds.

Day 15 – NTBLAIL about more than a forgotten letter of the alphabet

In Celebration of &

the ampersand’s formed 
from the ligature 
of the letters ET — 
the Latin word for “and

… & the term “ampersand
is a corruption of
and (&) per se and
which literally means 
“(the character) & by itself 
(is the word) and”

… & this small odd looking
character was actually once 
(kind of) the 27th member 
of the English alphabet* 

… & when reciting the alphabet in the 1800s
long-suffering schoolchildren would 
sing-song-say, “X, Y, Z, and per se and” 
so the students were essentially chanting
X, Y, Z, and by itself and” 

… & being lazy children this was 
routinely slurred to the mondegreen
ampersand & thus entered common usage

… & there’s a graffiti & in Pompeii from 79 CE

… & when it appears as &c
where it means etc
(the ampersand time travels
back into its E & T bones)

… & in screenplays, an & 
denotes a writing team 
[the word and designates 
the writers wrote separately, 
read: someone rewrote, 
& if there’s more than three 
ands on a credit, it’s a good sign 
you should probably stay 
the hell away from that movie]

… & when creating new type
faces the & character 
allows designers to inject 
a little joie de vivre & artistic 
flair into proceedings

… not to mention some quite nice 
poets really love it & if that’s not
a cause for celebration — then there isn’t one

*the thorn and the wynn are also members of the Former Members Of The Alphabet Club
but sadly we don’t have time (in this pome) to learn what led to their demises

2 Bob’s worth: a bonus poem

i. Jerk Bob
that old bundle of chuckles 
the joy-killing chump
Robert Hartwell Fiske 
in his dreary, dull AND utterly unreadable 
Dictionary of Unendurable English: 
A Compendium of Mistakes in Grammar, 
Usage, and Spelling with Commentary 
on Lexicographers and Linguists 

believes ampersands should only exist 
in proper names, business names, 
book titles, and the like
never in place of the word and

he further opines:
aside from the hurried, the only 
people inclined to use & in place of and 
are those who have scant sense of self 
and scant sense of style, 
and believe using & 
somehow swells them both.

ii. Lovely Bob
Robert Nares in his far more charming
highly erudite & intellectual work
A Glossary; or, Collection of words, 
phrases, names, and allusions to customs, 
proverbs, etc., which have been thought 
to require illustration in the works 
of English authors, particularly Shakespeare 
and his contemporaries. Vol. I. A new ed., 
with considerable additions 
both of words and examples 

believes the ampersand’s calligraphic qualities 
make it a compelling design element 
that can add visual appeal & personality to any page.

So go suck on them eggs Mr Hartwell Fiske

Day 14 — double loss

For someone who loves this myth, I’m really struggling for quality content. Wondering if I should abandon it for something different for last half of the month. The Poetic Factoids, however, remain a treat to create.

lost with, out haven


since : losing, you twice : in, two worlds : one green, light : one shadow, mist : find myself : lost : always, wandering : looking for a, home : that, never approaches : heart : out, of land : out of, hope : out, of, tune : every moment : miss you : more, than human heart : should : or can : this side, madness

Day 14 – TIL how deeply brain & body are connected

vocalisations

when your “inner voice” 
whispers wisdom deep within
the wetness of your brain
tiny muscle motions 
trigger in your larynx

no wonder i suffer
so many sore throats
after my multiple personalities
have had their say on
every conceivable topic

the muscular cacophony 
leaves my chords, exhausted