Not sure how long the poems will synchronise but today, as with yesterday, they do. The whole first poem is included as it didn’t turn out, quite as I intended …

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morning zoo kookiness 

mid-january 2019 : an Adelaide-based : morning breakfast radio crew : conceived a whacky notion : can you really fry : an egg : on a car bonnet : on a hot enough day : the forecast was for 45º : so using a brand new car : provided by a car dealership : i shall keep remained nameless : as a cynical : free marketing opportunity : they cracked : a couple of eggs : (& sadly : more than a couple : so-called whacky jokes) : before throwing on : some bacon, snags & hash browns : the eggs : allegedly : commenced cooking : straight away : thrilling the cool gang : except a deeply concerned : car paint expert (that’s a thing?) : who called in to explain : why you shouldn’t try this at home : raw egg will eat right through your paint : he wheezed : yep : that’s the takeaway : not that the world : today : was really farking hot : & only getting hotter 

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Day 2 – TIL about Chefs’ hats

a good yolk 

i. 
according to ancient culinary legend
the pleats of the “toque blanche”
the tall white chef’s hat
subtly represent the many skills 
acquired over long years of kitchery

ii.
furthermore & specifically
the 100 folds supposedly show
the chef knows the 100 
different ways to prepare eggs
— but let’s be frank —  
if you can poach properly
you’re tiptoeing towards … perfection 

iii. 
today i also learnt
upon doing a little extra 
interwebbing that this
so called “fun fact”
culled from some 
chirpy digital listicle
is actually total BS

bonus
iv. 

The One Hundred Egg Preparatory Methods are:

hardboiled (15-20 minutes) : medium (5-10 minutes) : softboiled (3-4 minutes) : coddled eggs : curried eggs : scotch woodcock : pickled eggs : beet pickled eggs : tea eggs or soy eggs : deviled eggs : angeled eggs : hammond eggs : egg salad : egg tetrazzini : over easy : fried hard : over medium : sunny-side up : eggs au beurre noir : frog in the hole : toad in the hole : scrambled eggs : cloud eggs : baked eggs : shirred eggs : shirred eggs and ham : eggs mornay : eggs florentine : egg nests : eggs in potato nests : eggs in tomato cups : omelette : cheese omelette : ham omelette : omelet fines herbes : baked omelet : puffy omelette : omurice : frittata : quiche : quiche lorraine : poached eggs : poached eggs in red wine : poached eggs in soup : spanish eggs : eggs sur le plat : scotch eggs : eggs benedict : meringue : cheese custard : creole eggs : egg casserole : cheese egg float : cheese pudding : dutch bunny (old time egg pancake) : yorkshire pudding : souffle : cheese souffle : asparagus souffle : chocolate souffle : vanilla souffle : eggs goldenrod : french toast : eggs a la king : eggs fu yung (foo young, various spellings) : egg timbales : egg drop soup : creamed deviled eggs : eggnog (not usually cooked,  i know) : creme brulee : floating island : baked custard : custard pie : custard soufffle : frozen custard : coconut custard : chocolate pots de creme : zabaglione : coffee custard : rice pudding : custard sauce : angel food cake : shakshuka : ham kedgeree : eggs au gratin : nicoise salad : piperade : coin purse eggs : iron pot eggs : steamed gold-and-silver eggs : huevos revueltos con totopos : huevos revueltos con chorizo : huevos rancheros : higaditos : enchiladas sencillas : whipped cream omelet : sweet (or jelly) omelet : three pepper tagine with eggs : kefta tagine with eggs

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