By this late stage of the month, I had hoped to move on to a few more “positive” poems. Some Good News Poems (of which there are, unquestionably, some). But I keep getting drawn back to things I want to share with people who possibly don’t know, some of the crazy shit that’s going on.

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techno fixes: otherwise known as plans B, C, G, Q & Z 

fertilizing oceans with iron : supposedly : to get sea plants : photosynthesising phytoplankton : thus growing faster : thus pulling CO2 : out : of the air : trouble is : small scale tests of this : have been tried : to no known benefit 

covering deserts : with vast : white sheets : a la Christo : thereby reflecting sunlight : back to space : you know : what the ice caps : used to do : before we : melted them : like giant : dripping down our hands : ice-creams

building some form of : superdooper : whizz bang : machine : that can suck carbon : clean out the sky : there’s been limited success : trialling these : odorous particle eaters : just in no way : no way nearly no way : in enough quantities of scale : to be of any benefit : can you guess : what powers them

exchanging : very cold : deep ocean water : for much warmer : surface water : the top 200 metres : only exchanges : with the deep : every : 10,000 years or so : therefore : by artificially encouraging them to swap : the oceans : can be a heat sink : while we : find a permanent solution : haha you know i’m kidding : we’ll do nothing proactive : always ever only : reactive

some of the : sun-dimming : options which have been suggested : & remember : this is not comedy i’m writing here 

space mirrors : that’s right : big mirrors in space to bounce : the sun’s rays away : thus potentially : running the risk : of inadvertently flashing it : into a passing alien hyperdrive’s eyes : thereby really pissing : our FTL neighbours off

cloud brightening : spraying seawater skywards : from specially coopted : fleets of boats : or tall towers on shore : supposedly to create more cloud cover : or to make the clouds we have : more reflective : longer lasting : or something 

the most popular option : revolves round : spraying sulphate aerosols : high into our stratosphere : via retrofitted planes : or cannons : or even : & this is genuine : a really long hose suspended by helium balloons : acting like : an artificial volcano : spewing forth : ash & debris : which floats around : reflecting sunlight : up up & away

even a small scale : “nothing too big” : local : nuclear war : between Pakistan & India perhaps : could work : would be easy : to orchestrate : the results : should probably bring : a mini ice age : though who knows : what other : pesky side-effects besides

or, you know, we could : properly fund renewables R&D : eat less meat : plant some trees : even : & here’s a thought : leaping out of left field : actually : curb : fossil : fuel : emissions