Day 23 – Ode

Given that Billy Boy’s birthday (maybe) & death day falls in the middle of NaPoWriMo, I usually like to write something Bard-related.

This year, I’m focussing on the famous joke about the school kid who was studying Macbeth complained: “I dunno know why my teacher says Shakespeare was such a good writer.  Everything he writes is a cliché.”

As is often the case with these collage poems, it has clunky patches (which would have been softened if I didn’t give myself Game 1, below) but I think in a future rewrite could be smoothed out to give me sense.

Two games for readers:

1. How have the clichés been arranged?

2. One play is not mentioned … this is not for want of trying, but dozens of websites listing famous phrases that have passed into cliche territory, not one listed a recognisable or common phrase people would easily recognise. Very strange. I even skim read most of the play, trying to find one I could pinch. Nada. There is a prize for those who can name the play (haha, there is no prize except the joy of satisfaction).

The Bard of Cliche

i.
& so I step Into thin air, a Brave new world
Such stuff as dreams are made on —
Strange bedfellows, Make a virtue
of necessity As good luck would have it
I am no longer a Laughing stock
The world’s mine oyster I Refuse
to budge an inch Something in the wind
Makes me As merry as the day is long
& that’s the Obscene Zany Naked truth
Fancy-free, Swift as a shadow
But With bated breath, I wait
Even though Love is blind Truth will out
I could Hold a candle to your Pound of flesh
Forever and a day Cannot get
Too much of a good thing
All the world’s a stage
All of a sudden, Bedazzled
You Break the ice Kill with kindness
It’s Cold comfort to know
All’s well that ends well
As you Laugh yourself into stitches
Out of the jaws of death Leaving my face
— As white as driven snow.

ii.
I must Play fast and loose
There is no Elbow room To keep
my Spotless reputation as a Night owl
Yet Give the devil his due
Set my teeth on edge The game is afoot
He has Eaten me out of house and home
It’s an ill wind which blows no man to good
A heart of gold, Faint hearted
Mum’s the word, Tongue tied
Tongue, Dead as a doornail
Tongue, A tower of strength
For goodness sake

iii.
It’s Fashionable to say Good riddance
to the Devil incarnate
A fool’s paradise A wild goose chase
Parting is such sweet sorrow
We have seen better days
A dish fit for the gods Masters of their fate
Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war
I am constant as the Northern Star
Milk of human kindness
Live long day All our yesterdays
in One fell swoop we Double double
toil and trouble Be-all and the end-all
Crack of doom Knock knock! Who’s there?
To thine own self be true
In my heart of hearts
In my mind’s eye There’s the rub
Nothing can come of nothing
& so we Come full circle
Where everything is
A foregone conclusion

drippyshakesCROP

Day 23 – couple of presents for the birthday boy

Today is the anniversary of some guy’s birth who I’m kinda interested in. So I’m giving him two presents.

I started the first poem last year during NaPoWriMo14, but the loss of power in my house prevented me from finishing it. So it has been ‘rolled over’ to NaPoWriMo15. It’s still not quite what I want — but that’s what May is for, right? The second one is just a bit of fun — which no doubt only folks who know a bit about The Bard might find droll (but I’m not holding my breath on that). Really it was written to keep myself amused.

*****

I.
451 candles

though there’s doubt over the date
the compromise is St George’s Day
three days before your baptism
though under the Julian calendar
it’d be May 3, so what’s in a date?

admittedly you seem like a ghost
across all the lost centuries
we glimpse you only tangentially
through the dust & distance
your poor posthumous portraits
your six scrawled signatures
your small latin & less greek
your second best bed, your poaching
& all the accompanying apocrypha

you are perhaps the best known man
who we know next-to-nothing about
but the feeling of paucity stems from
the desperate intensity of our gaze
gaps exist for almost everyone of the time
your peers are no exception
yet of the 3000-odd plays believed staged
during this “golden age” of theatre
38 of the 230 extant manuscripts are yours
— 1 in 15 is a very respectable ratio

however, a succession of looneys enjoy
casting doubt on your every aspect —
appearance, identity, even your life itself
they cannot accept an ordinary man
can make extraordinary work
but rather needs to be from the ruling class
(bacon, de vere, queen bess herself, etc)

one thing that is certainly certain
were you still alive today
you’d have a heck of a time
blowing out all the candles

II.
the signing of the wills

far from being the genius
everyone claims
i counter you’re just
a willy-nilly-numpty
who didn’t know how
to spell his own name

that’s right i said it mr so-called

Wm Shakspe
Willm Shaksp
Willm Shakspere
William Shakespe
William Shakspere
William Shakspeare

you can’t even get it right — Shakespeare

*****

10 - BKA-Computermontage - Chandos-Portraet - Droeshout-Stich , 1995